Corbin 1
Name: Michael Corbin
Professor: Lauren Servais
English 100 Online
February 10th 2011
Weekend In Tahoe
This picture here was taken about a year ago when I was in Tahoe for the weekend with my two friends. My friend Tyler had invited me And are other friend Casey to go up to Tahoe for the weekend. For me this picture brings a lot of things to mind more than how much I like the picture, but also the thoughts and memories it brings up for me.
For starters one of the things I like most about this picture is the picture itself.
I can’t really find a way to describe it but the way the inverted colors make everything look is just bizarre. Although I liked the original picture I like this one even more because its more unique than most.
When I look at this picture I think of that whole weekend as if it was yesterday.
We stayed up there for two night and three days just Snowboarding all day and just kicking back in the hotel room and we had a blast. I even remember the exact spot and why we had stopped at this point. We were riding across the top of the mountain at heavenly ski resort and had gotten stuck on a slight up hill on the way over to the Nevada side of the resort.
I also see more than just the spot when we took this picture though. If I look at this picture its like movie playing of the whole weekend the drive up there, every day of snowboarding everything up until I fell asleep on the ride back. I remember the first I had
Corbin 2
fallen going almost dead stop speed and managed to knock the wind out of myself and my friend Tyler just wouldn’t let it go all weekend. Then on the last day in nearly the same spot at nearly the same speed as Tyler did the same thing to himself.
So when most people look at this picture they see just a picture kids in snow gear with a lake behind them. When I see this picture I see that and more and I can vividly remember the whole weekend and all the fun I had during that weekend.
Hi Michael -
ReplyDeleteI like the picture you chose it makes me miss the snow. Towards the beginning of the essay you stated, "For me this picture brings a lot of things to mind more than how much I like the picture, but also the thoughts and memories it brings up for me." I would enjoy reading more about what "thoughts and memories" this picture creates. For example more descriptive phrases, how was the snow condition, how you feel when you are at the top of the mountain looking down, etc. Thank you for sharing an awesome experience!
Thank you,
Sarah Baker
You had a really good thesis, you tols us why you had a great weekend and the significance of the picture, i think you did a really good job on that part. On the other hand, maybe you can put a little bit more about what happened on the trip, like be a little bit more descriptive. That's about all i have that I saw needed a little work on, I think you did a pretty good job overall, another paragraph or two explaining maybe a little more about the friends in the picture since they are in the picture, that could hold some significance as well for you, how long you've known them and stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteHi Michael,
ReplyDeleteSeems like you had a really good time in Tahoe. Through your writing you can tell that this trip meant a lot to you. I would say that you thesis is "I look at this picture, its like movie playing of the whole weekend" It just makes me wanted to read more to get to know more about your trip. You showed edvidence of your thesis' by discribing the weekend and how it seemed like a movie to you. I think one of the strongest points about your essay is that you seem passionate about your friends and the great weekend that youhad, I think that you will remember this weekend for a very long time, if not the rest of your life.
A suggestion that I have for you about your essay would be to make it a little more detailed and a bit longer, I am not sure if it is three pages, I would like to know about your snowboarding and what the 2 other people in the picture mean to you, I know they are your friends but being there in Tahoe with them and the events that your guys shared.
Thanks for the essay!
Emily